Is Your "Woke Bae" Really as Woke as He Thinks He Is?

So you thought your date was super aware and understanding of social issues, but maybe not so much? It happens. But if you're not sure, here are some signs to look out for. Maybe they make off-color jokes, or they're not quite as supportive of certain causes as you'd expect. Who knows? But if you're curious, check out these signs and see if they sound familiar.

In today's social and political climate, being "woke" has become a popular term used to describe someone who is aware of and actively involved in social justice issues. It's not surprising that many people are seeking partners who share their values and beliefs. However, just because someone claims to be "woke" doesn't necessarily mean they are living up to their own hype. Here are 15 signs the guy you're dating might not be as woke as he thinks he is.

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1. Lack of Intersectionality

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One of the key aspects of being woke is understanding and acknowledging the intersection of different social identities and experiences. If your partner only focuses on one aspect of social justice, such as feminism or racial equality, without recognizing how these issues intersect with other forms of oppression, it's a red flag.

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2. Performative Allyship

Is your partner more concerned with appearing woke than actually doing the work to support marginalized communities? If he's quick to post about social justice issues on social media but doesn't actively engage in real-world activism or educate himself on the issues, it may be a sign of performative allyship.

3. Lack of Empathy

A truly woke individual is empathetic and understanding of the experiences of others. If your partner shows a lack of empathy or dismisses the struggles of marginalized communities, it's a clear indication that his woke persona may be more about appearances than genuine concern.

4. Dismissing Your Experiences

Does your partner listen to and validate your experiences as a woman, person of color, or member of the LGBTQ+ community? If he dismisses or downplays your lived experiences, it's a sign that his commitment to social justice may not extend to his personal relationships.

5. Problematic Language

Pay attention to the language your partner uses when discussing social justice issues. If he uses language that is offensive or dismissive of marginalized communities, it's a clear indication that his understanding of social justice is lacking.

6. Lack of Education

Being woke requires ongoing education and self-reflection. If your partner is not actively seeking out resources, books, and conversations to educate himself on social justice issues, it's a sign that his commitment to being woke may not be genuine.

7. Ignoring Privilege

A woke individual acknowledges their privilege and works to use it to uplift marginalized voices. If your partner fails to recognize his privilege or actively uses it to silence others, it's a sign that his commitment to social justice is superficial.

8. Tokenization

Does your partner tokenize marginalized individuals or use them as props to appear more woke? If he only engages with marginalized communities for the sake of his own image, it's a clear indication that his commitment to social justice is insincere.

9. Lack of Accountability

Being woke means holding oneself and others accountable for their actions and words. If your partner deflects or becomes defensive when called out for problematic behavior, it's a sign that his commitment to social justice is performative.

10. Centering Himself

A truly woke individual understands the importance of centering marginalized voices and experiences. If your partner consistently centers himself in conversations about social justice, it's a sign that his commitment to being woke is self-serving.

11. Inaction in the Face of Injustice

Does your partner remain silent or inactive in the face of social injustice? A truly woke individual understands the importance of speaking out and taking action when they witness oppression and discrimination.

12. Lack of Support for Your Activism

If your partner fails to support your own activism or dismisses your efforts to create change, it's a clear indication that his commitment to social justice is superficial.

13. Resistance to Growth

Being woke requires constant self-reflection and growth. If your partner is resistant to learning from his mistakes and evolving his understanding of social justice, it's a sign that his commitment to being woke is stagnant.

14. Disrespecting Boundaries

A woke individual respects the boundaries and autonomy of others. If your partner consistently disrespects your boundaries or attempts to dictate how you should engage with social justice issues, it's a sign that his commitment to being woke is controlling.

15. Lack of Solidarity

Does your partner fail to show solidarity with marginalized communities in meaningful ways? A truly woke individual understands the importance of standing in solidarity with those who are oppressed and actively supports their struggles.

In conclusion, being woke goes beyond surface-level activism and performative allyship. It requires ongoing education, self-reflection, and a genuine commitment to dismantling oppressive systems. If the guy you're dating exhibits any of these signs, it may be time to reevaluate whether he truly lives up to his woke bae persona. Remember, actions speak louder than words, and being with someone who is genuinely committed to social justice can make a world of difference in your relationship.